Connected vs. Disconnected Leadership: Draper, Snow, and the Cost of Hiding
One leads through mystique. The other through trust. Only one survives the winter.
Leadership isn’t about power.
Not really.
It’s about connection—or the lack of it. And if you want to understand the difference, you don’t need a Harvard case study or a whitepaper on emotional intelligence. Just watch Mad Men and Game of Thrones back-to-back.
Don Draper: Disconnected by Design
Don Draper leads from behind a mask.
Brilliant. Iconic. But unreachable.
He doesn’t build loyalty—he seduces it. And like all seductions, it fades.
He solves technical problems with poetic genius. Need a campaign in 24 hours? He delivers. Need honesty, vulnerability, or sustainable culture? He disappears—sometimes literally.
“That’s what the money is for.”
That line isn’t just cold. It’s disconnected leadership in a suit.
In Heifetz terms, Don can handle technical work—creative problems with known solutions. But he collapses under adaptive pressure—moments that require vulnerability, reflection, or change.
He doesn’t evolve. He retreats.
Jon Snow: The Weight of Connection
Jon Snow doesn’t want the throne.
That’s exactly why people follow him.
He listens when it’s inconvenient.
He bridges tribes others write off.
He dies—and comes back changed.
Where Don hides truth, Jon owns it. Even when it costs him everything.
“I don’t want it.”
Jon leads not from ambition, but from integrity. That’s connected leadership. The kind that survives long winters.
He embodies the ideas in Yale’s Connected Leadership course:
Use yourself as a case
Stay open under fire
Lead through relationship, not rank
Heifetz would say Jon is doing adaptive work: diagnosing what’s really happening, holding space for conflict, and growing through discomfort. That’s not soft. That’s real leadership.
The Comparison
Don Draper vs. Jon Snow
Mask: Reinvented identity (Dick → Don) vs. Reluctantly authentic
Style: Charismatic, opaque vs. Quiet, transparent
Conflict response: Disappear or dominate vs. Listen, reflect, adapt
Authority: Talent and image vs. Trust and sacrifice
Leadership Type: Disconnected vs. Connected
Why This Matters Now
We live in an age of performance—LinkedIn branding, pitch decks, motivational slogans. It’s easy to fall into disconnected leadership, where we curate presence instead of building trust.
But trust scales.
Performance fractures.
And people can feel the difference.
If you want to build something that lasts—whether it’s a company, a brand, or a team—you need to connect. With others. With yourself. Even when it hurts.
Leadership is personal.
If it’s not personal, it’s not leadership.
— Yale Connected Leadership
Final Thought
Don Draper made beautiful ads.
Jon Snow built a future.
Only one of them ever learned how to lead.
Next up
If you liked this, stay tuned for a deeper dive into adaptive leadership and how Heifetz’s principles can apply to storytelling, brand strategy, and rebuilding the systems we’re meant to challenge.